this is a clip of a conversation i had in AIM when someone asked me why (again) i'm against drinking so much. i typed this really fast and there are a bunch of spots where i wish i had worded things differently, but i didn't edit it at all for this post. Let's hope it's interesting.

to me drinking is one of the millions of ways people sissy out and give up. Ooh, a cheap easy way to not think for a while, and everyone else does it so bang there's a great way to avoid thought AND be accepted without actually having to work at all! hooray! alcohol, drugss, even things like trends and, more and more, politics... people just give in to whatever thought process they want so that they can avoid really looking into themselves and finding out what tehy actually think. They throw their lots in with some predetermined mindset and and ITS OKAY No one gives a shit that mob mentality still results in chaos and disorder, people won't go through the work (and yes it is work) to process everything they hear, go through the hopelessness and depression that invariably comes through an observation of the world, and end up a better, more wise person for it. Posers. I hate them. Everyone is a poser. The very very few people i truly honestly like are the ones i can tell deal with the harsh reality of the world and don't allow drugs or booze or anything alter their perspective in exchange for the quick buzz you get from a little extra dopamine or the feeling you get when lots of people agree with you. I told you once, when you were sleeping over here, that Irish people are only not miserable when they're drunk or fighting something, and me, i fight all the evil i can find in the world. I'm in the extreme minority with almost everything i believe in here, no drinking, no smoking, no sex before marriage, no homosexuality, being closer to republican than democrat, and every day i all i hear is, well hell you're a college kid you know how everyone else here thinks. And i love that i'm not like them, i love it just because i fight them and acn't all the time come up with a good reason why, i love fighting i love the struggle, it makes me know i'm alive and maybe special. And that feeling is just quadrupled when i reflect on how the things i fight for are RIGHT, that they are indeed the correct chioces, so saith my religion, and i will not allow any of the other side's ideas to poison me. I won't. Sure maybe i'm missing a few interesting viewpoints, but all in all i'm sure my way is the right one and i'll figure out all the important things along the way. I can't possibly go wrong if i'm not getting negative signs from God, and i let Him influence me an infinite amount more than any filthy human, including myself and my own urges. You're damn right i want to drink sometimes, want to get high and cheer for the Red Sox and hate Bush (even thought that conflicts with my beliefs) and have everything be easy and let the world go to hell without doing a thing to change it. But fuck evertying i'm not listening. I'm set. My way may leave me miserable with a chance of happy once in a big while, but at least i can be sure i'm right.