nah i got nothin this time nevermind

we begin, perhaps

It's late at night again, hours past the time i designated as bedtime so as not to sleep through class in the morning. I don't like being awake this late, especially by myself, because the thinking starts creeping in and there's no way to avoid it. I can't turn on the TV or put on headphones to try to divert my own attention, because then i'll never get to sleep, and every biological cycle i have will be off. Some people can do it, some people fall asleep to music playing lightly, a lullaby reassuring them that the ghouls are at bay so long as you pay them no attention. I lack this ability, if music is on i'm listening to it, i involuntarily hear every bit and follow along and pay attention. Focusing on anything keeps you awake, you can't fall asleep if you're interested in what's going on within your scope of perception. I'll set the sleep timer on whatever music-playing tool i'm employing and try to drift off, but my mind follows along and sleep waits patiently outside. I'm spewing out sentences now, not an actual essay or whatever you want to call it, but if anything's going to be said it'll be said as it comes, maybe later i can mesh it all together and have something real and coherent. That's a major problem when i try to write down things, in my head it sounds absolutely wonderful and eloquent and perfect but when i try to write it down i lose the wording, the feeling, the flow, even if i just try to speak into a recorder. Another thing, i get off track and lose my sin curve of thought.
So here i lay, buried in a few hours of wasted sleep, and the negative half of everything has taken over. Nothing pleasant ever occurs to me at night, i never ponder any great or important thing i've done, and indeed can't even list what they are. I just, this moment, learned something else about posting here; i'm directing at an audience, and that's a bad idea. I'm writing with the idea that it will be read, and that changes the format entirely. This way i explain things. That's not how it goes in my brain, things flow and wow me as i listen and half the time i don't know what's behind it so why should i cheapen it when that's what people want to here? I think i might cut this one short now, and try again later without trying to make it comprehensible.

Things we find wonderful often only are so because we don't understand them.

I'll never explain myself again.

This post is again just practice, i'm in the computer lab with about 20 minutes till my zoology lab starts so there's no real time for serious posting; i'm just trying to get into the habit of posting stuff. Blech, i've used my quota of the root "post" and won't use it for at least half a day now. The kid next to me in here is looking up drumsets and i know it's probably impolite to look at otehr people'ss's screens, but i can't help it they're too beautiful. Drumsets are fantastic. Wow. When i hear a truly superb drummer going at it i get all shivery and can't pay attention to anything else and usually end up trying to drum along. If there are drumsticks anywhere near me, and there usually are, i'm sure to wind up with bruised knees and broken lamps: apparently imagining i'm at a set only works in my head. Know who's a great drummer? The absolute best drummer i know? Travis Barker. What a hero. He's the drummer for Blink 182, who are wildly popular and have many many cds so i get to hear him a lot. Gah i idolize that guy. He works up such intricate and complex beats that most people don't even notice the majority of it, but wow zac and i do. Try playing it sometimes, it's like trying to play 6-dimensional lightspeed Twister in space, and you can't just go at whatever pace you want, oh no, it has to fit in with the song. Oooohhh it's fun, even though i'm not nearly an accomplished enough drummer to handle it. I could sing the praises of Sir Barker for a few more pages here, but i have to go scrape skin cells off and look at them under microscopes.

wait this all one big paragraph and it's online, so it's not really pages... i could talk about him for a few more feet, that's better.

Travis and i TOTALLY have the same birthday, how freaking awesome is that?

Don't worry usually i don't use "totally" like that.

vastly important

The Book of Kells is a fantastically old religious manuscript that absolutely defies description in regard to it's artistry, the designs and monograms in it have been considered by anyone who's studied it to be one of the most fantastic pieces of artwork ever to come out of Europe.
We're not really sure exactly when the book was written, but the best guesses put it's birtday between the 6th and 7th centuries. It contains the four Gospels of the Bible along with a list of Hebrew names and Eusebian canons, and may have been written by St. Columba himself. Wow. Suddenly i feel as if this blog isn't quite worthy to be named after such an amazing piece of awesome, but it's so freaking cool that it stays. And anyway, it's provided something to actually talk about.
The book was kept in the Kells monastery to save it from Vikings (the stealth pirates of the North), but was stolen eventually by a complete and utter waste of oxygen, who took the (in comparison) worthless gold jewel-encrusted cover of the Book and threw the manuscript itself into a ditch. I hope that guy is somehow magically alive and reads this and realizes what moron he is. Only a few small parts of the Book were lost, and in it's entire 1000+ year life it's only lost 30 out of about 340 pages, largely because at some point in time i'm too lazy to look up the Book was given to the Trinity College in Dublin, and of course they're completely anal (and rightfully so) about taking care of it. It's only like one of the Top 5 most important things in that continent.

just so you know, this is mandatory.

Not that i'm complaining. I say that so that if this is utterly unhelpful and boring, i can play the "well it wasn't my idea" card. And there is no doubt whatsoever that if i sit down with the intent to write something worthwhile i'll get nothing, i only think interestingly when i am as far away from any transcribing media as possible, and then of course i forget it all within moments. Righto, team, you're going to have to get used to me not capitalizing "i"'s, i'll keep the rest of my punctuation as accurate as possible but i definitely can't be bothered to press two buttons at once. Wait, i do that at the beginning of every sentence. Capital i's are sissy anyway, one of my friends and i agreed that online it is to be replaced with &, which is much grander and worth the double effort, more capable of conveying importance. Way back in the day when i started this blog i was afraid i wouldn't be able to captivate an audience very well, i don't really have the energy to ponder at the moment, but then two minutes later i had realized that no one will ever see this besides me and thusly wrote a sentence about it. I (whoa! capital i!!) wonder how many blogger's first posts sound identical to this one... that's disheartening. Who likes being average. Well, i guess anyone below average would, never mind. I'm gonna go ahead and blame the breifness and abrupt ending of this article on the fact that i have class in the morning. Night all.